Caught bits of this on BBC/Sky multi-channel-thingy after getting home from the pub, most of it was predictably rubbish and sounded even rubbisher, what with all the wind and keeping the volume down so as not to wake my Dad: Razorlight (quick switch to one of the 6000 live poker chanels he’s about to speak), Coldplay (yuk), Madonna (preseved in formaldahyde?) , Bon Jovi (wardrobe by topshop), Pete Doherty (arg!), Coldplay again? (possibly, all these white guys sound the same to me) then we cut to the New York coverage and saw Kanye West blow the whole Hyde Park gang off stage from across a huge ocean several hours after everyone allready went home (made it look like the weren’t trying). He was followed by a predictably polished Will Smith (heralded the next day in our car by the top 40 android as the highlight of the weekend) and then (WTF?) Def Lepard; those sunglasses really didn’t work with that new fat face Joe.

While we’re mentioning the top 40, I’m genuinely upset that they don’t play all the records in full anymore, only the top 20, now they have some aweful retro compilation before the action begins (totally anti what the charts should be about IMO), then we skip as fast as possible over all the interesting records so we can get to the stuff that we hear 60 times a day on Radio One anyway. And the presenters are FUCKING COCKS even by the standards of that ‘Wes’ guy who used to present it.

So to summarise: Sorry guys it’s an emergency here we can’t have people bringing too much politics or interesting music onto our screens, people might get over excited and then god knows what might happen, basically Bono and Richard Curtis will sort it out, and you know, at the end of the day thank God we (well Robbie Williams in any case) made poverty history, now we can get on with our lives, shame that Tom A’s probably going to have to get a new job but I’m sure we can all agree that its a small price to pay for bringing an end to this kind of shocking global inequity.